TALKING to MYSELF

On my porch, on my swing –

Crocheting maybe, just some … “thing” –

And talking to myself.

Walking down to get the mail,

I use a cane – hate to feel frail (1) –

And talking to myself.

At the stove to heat some food –

In the doldrums – lousy mood –

And talking to myself.

On the couch, reading a book,
My mind wanders with a faraway look (2) –
And talking to myself.

Kin (3) long ago turned away from me,
But God knows my heart (4). God can see

That I talk to myself.

It’s fine that I will never be rich,

But I wish my brain had an “on” and “off” switch,

So I’d stop talking to myself!

Taking a nap while it’s still day-light,

Or lying on my bed (5) at night,

I talk to myself.

But the silent talking -- now please, no jeers --
Is mostly to God, Who always hears (6).

I pray to God for friends and foes.
He lifts me up. He already knows (7)

Why I talk to myself.

God knows my thoughts (4). His hands I’m in (8)

When I talk to myself, or write with a pen.

Though I sometimes feel I’m the only one left (9),

I’m not actually talking to myself.

My talking to God is done quietly (10).

Living alone, it’s God and me,

So I talk ...

(1) v. 2 – Ecclesiastes 12:5; (2) v. 4 – Titus 2:13; Hebrews 12:2; Jude 21; (3) v. 5 - Proverbs 17:17; 18:24; (4) v, 5 & 10 – Job 21:27a; Psalm 94:11; Hebrews 4:12; (5) v. 7 – Psalm 4:4; (6) v. 8 – I Peter 5:7; I John 5:14; (7) v. 9 – Jeremiah 29:11; (8) v. 10 – Isaiah 49:16; (9) v. 11 – I Kings 19:14ff; (10) v. 12 – Psalm 46:10.

- by Netagene, in about 30 minutes while sitting on my front porch swing, 5pm, Thursday, July 25, 2013. I got the idea for this from lines in 2 books that I was alternately reading at the same day. One was a true story by Julie Powell: “Cleaving: A Story of Marriage, Meat, and Obsession”, © 2009, in which I read the words: “inner whisper” near the front of the book – and lines in Jonathan Raban's ''Foreign Land'', © 1985: chap 9: ''talking in the park, talking in the dark with you''. -